


Assumptions

by jedinow



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedinow/pseuds/jedinow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SG1 is back in the infirmary again. Be careful of the assumptions you make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote years ago. Rather short, I know, but it’s the first fanfic I’ve actually written down.

“I’m telling you, that’s not what happened!”

“Of course, Daniel. Whatever you say.”

“Jack!”

“Yes, Daniel?”

“Aren’t you going to back me up here?”

“Not this time buddy. Doc Fraiser’s right, ya know. You’re lucky you weren’t seriously injured.”

General Hammond stopped just inside the entrance to the infirmary. SG-1 had just returned from another mission gone awry. “Would somebody please tell me exactly what happened out there?” he bellowed.

“General! They don’t believe that it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t me this time! Honest! Please, you have to believe me!” Daniel turned his pleading eyes on the General, clearly hoping for someone to side with him.

“Slow down there, son. Just start from the beginning, and we’ll get this all sorted out.”

“Sir, if I may,” Jack began. “As you know, it was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission. A few ruins for Daniel to play in, and plenty of dirt for Carter to poke around in. The mission started out uneventful. We hiked for a couple hours, Daniel looked at his rocks, and Carter got her samples. We were heading back to the ‘gate when the weather turned nasty.”

“That’s an understatement,” Daniel muttered softly.

“Something to add, Dr. Jackson?” General Hammond inquired.

“Oh, uh, no sir.” Daniel replied. “At least, not yet,” he quietly amended.

“Continue, Colonel.”

“As I was saying,” Jack paused to glare at Daniel, “the weather went downhill fast. Literally. It started raining pretty hard, and Carter was worried about flash floods and mudslides. We were at the top of the hill close to the gate when I stopped to make sure no one had been swept away. Daniel here wasn’t watching where he was going and barrelled into Carter, who barrelled into me, sending the three of us down the hill on a rather muddy ride.”

“It wasn’t me!”

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“Gentlemen, can we please get back to the matter at hand?” General Hammond hastily interrupted. “I take it your ungainly trip down the hill is responsible for our current situation?”

“Not exactly, General.” Daniel was the first to respond. “You see, I was watching where I was going. Running into Sam wasn’t my fault.”

“Then just who is responsible?” General Hammond was quickly growing annoyed at how long it was taking to find out what had happened.

“It was I who ran into DanielJackson and precipitated this unfortunate chain of events.” Everyone turned and stared at Teal’c, who had entered the room unnoticed. “I had been momentarily distracted by a particularly fascinating object. I regretfully admit that I was negligent in my duty to protect the rest of my team. Please accept my most sincere apologies. I vow to never again allow such an oversight to occur.”

“Teal’c? It was you?” Daniel broke the stunned silence with his softly spoken question.

“Indeed.” Teal’c, who was always stoic and unreadable, somehow looked embarrassed by his confession.

“Wow.” It was Jack who found his voice next. “I guess I was wrong, Daniel. I just assumed it was you, what with your track record and all. It’s just such a shock.”

General Hammond found himself once again shaking his head at the strange things that happened to SG-1. “I suppose that answers my question. I trust this will all be in your report tomorrow morning, Colonel. Now, Dr. Fraiser, what is status of SG-1?”

“Well, Colonel O’Neill has a couple cracked ribs and a mild concussion. He should recover fully and be back on duty in about a week. However, I would like to hold him overnight for observation.” Colonel O’Neill frowned at that statement. “The rest of SG-1 has only minor bruises and lacerations. A good shower and they should be fine.”

“Thank you, Doctor. SG-1, we’ll officially debrief at 0900 tomorrow morning. I trust it won’t take long.” General Hammond turned to leave, but paused to ask one last question. “Teal’c, what exactly was it that you found so fascinating that you forgot to look where you were going?”

“I believe the correct term would be a ‘rock.’”

 


End file.
